Going Forward

Two weeks is a long time, it’s almost two weeks since I last posted here, a lot of things have happened, and a lot of things have changed, some for the better and some, sadly for the worse. at the time of my last post we had just learned of the tragic loss of our friend and band mate Paul Jones. His loss is being felt throughout the music scene in Sheffield and further afield, his talent, and his qualities as a great friend and family man will forever make the world a sadder place, he is missed but will live long in our thoughts and memories, and while we have those, we never really lose him completely. We also lost, at the same time, another popular figure on the scene, Adrian ‘Mole’ Price, drummer, singer, all round good fellow and another man who will be deeply mourned and missed.

Both these losses hit me hard, but I have tried, instead of letting my pain turn into a deepening of my depression, to turn it into positive momentum, my sense of injustice at the premature ending of two good lives spurred me on to take control of my own life, and to embrace the philosophy that life is too short, and is there to be lived to the very fullest.

With that in mind, on Monday I went in to work, and tendered my resignation, it felt very strange to actually be taking that step, but I know that it’s the right thing to do, I feel better than I did, but I still have the wobbly moments and these may last for a while, I have no idea how long, and I know that I won’t be able to offer the level of care and attention to families that I once could. I’ll miss taking care of families, I’ll miss my colleagues, but what’s best for me is to look after my health, and what’s best for the company is to have someone in place who is emotionally capable of doing the job.

I have been offered a new job, until the end of September, a job I am capable of doing, with little stress, and a relaxed and friendly working environment, and in the interim, I’m going to be very busy setting up my new venture, Steelpies Entertainment, a place for all my creative projects, from the Everly Pregnant Brothers, to DJ gigs, compere gigs, presenting, comedy and music that isn’t with the brothers. I’m going to be busy!

I will keep up with this blog, as I’m still being told that it’s helping people, I hope that my continuing recovery can give hope to people who have just entered the tunnel, and the knowledge that it is ok to not be ok, it is ok to talk, to ask for help, and it is ok to put yourself first. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and the black dog can be brought to heel.

 

 

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