“out on the road today I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac, I heard a voice inside my head saying don’t look back, you can never look back” Boys Of Summer , Don Henley
I am unapologetically nostalgic, my lyrics with the Everly Pregnant Brothers draw heavily on nostalgia, particularly nostalgia for growing up through the 70’s, 80s and 90’s in Sheffield ( see ‘Oyl int Rooad’ and ‘No Oven No Pie’ for further details). Over the last few months of being unwell, I’ve spent a lot of time looking back over the circumstances that led to this current illness, the circumstances that surrounded previous encounters with the black dog, and my relationships with people, places and things like food, drink…
the conclusions I have drawn are already documented, I’ve been susceptible to this disability before, I’d managed it well for a while but it’s come back to bite me again, it always coincides with a transition, a change in my life, and my recovery has been based around making the decision to change, and the journey forward.
With that in mind I’ve resolved that for a while at least, I’m going to stop looking backwards, the past is the past and it can’t be altered now, but the road ahead, the future, that is something that I can influence, my hands are on the wheel and my feet are on the pedals, and I can choose to accelerate or brake, I’m not relying on anyone else to control the journey, I’m controlling it.
After a really awful week after New Year, this week I have felt more stable, I’ve seen flashes and signs of the old me, starting to peer out from the darkness, and I’m beginning to see the path emerging, the route back to work, and the way forward in terms of doing the things that ultimately will make me happy. I’ll be making some big announcements over the next couple of months, things are falling into place, and I’m cautiously excited, and giddy about the future, and I hope you’ll come along with me for the ride, it could be a lot of fun.
So for the time being, I’m going to take Don Henley’s words and run with them, but I’m sure that when it comes to writing the next EPB album, I’ll be going back in time again to get some more nostalgia from the rammell drawer.