Modern Life Is Goodish

I’m in the Harland café, it’s a place I come to on a regular basis, the food is great, Steve and Sarah, the owners, are lovely people, the atmosphere is always relaxed, and the music in the background is eclectic. It’s one of those safe, comfortable places that can lift a mood out of despair, or just maintain a better mood. These places of peace are many, as friends all rally around to make sure I’m doing ok, but there are favourite places, and this is one of them. Yesterday, despite waking with a feeling of anxiety which came literally from nowhere, I decided to get wrapped up and venture out of the house, I braved the pre-Christmas madness at Meadowhall, in order to complete ( there or thereabouts) my Christmas gift shopping, I haven’t spent wildly, but I’ve put thought into each gift, and I hope that everyone will be happy with what Santa brings them. Afterwards I went to visit with Sarah, and deliver Cards and presents over at her house, and we had a nice afternoon talking about our weekend, her gig at the Washington on Saturday last, which went amazingly well, and our plans for Christmas and the new year.

The anxiety had passed, and my mood was definitely better than first thing in the morning. I went to Slimming World, (stayed the same weight) to be greeted by everyone saying how noticeable my weight loss has become and that I am looking really well. Smiles all round then.

I can’t lie, looking back over the last six weeks since this journey began, I definitely feel better than I did, attacks of anxiety and despair are fewer and farther between than they were, and although I’m still not feeling great, or even ‘normal’, I do think the medication has had an impact in levelling things off to an extent. I still have my triggers, my wobbles and my waves that creep up unawares and hit me without warning, but again, they aren’t as severe generally, and they don’t come as often. I feel good….ish.

Sleep is still hard to come by, and I am finding myself feeling increasingly tired, leading to a few days here and there where it’s all I can do to just get off the sofa and make a cup of tea. Any suggestions on sleeping would be more than welcome.

It’s still early, but the forecast for the day is for sunny spells amidst the bitter cold, so, I’m going to go home, put on an extra layer or two, and maybe go for a walk.


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